We found it necessary to “stick with winners” in order to grow.
In Step One, we admitted we were powerless to overcome the problems in our lives. We recognized our need for help and began to seek it. Step Two guides us toward the help we seek. It begins a plan of action we can follow to find our solution.
For many of us, learning that there IS a solution, and that we CAN attain a better way of life, is a new and even uncomfortable awareness. We realize that we can have the peace and happiness we have seen in the faces of others in the program. We find the best way to do this is to spend as much time with these people as possible – to “stick with winners.”
“In order to grow” in the positive direction we have chosen, we, must let go of old habits, thoughts, and patterns. Our old way of life has proven to be a negative one, full of misery, loneliness, and failure. Many of us have tried to return to old friends and environments, only to find our old way of life even more painful than we remembered. Withdrawing into ourselves is no better. By ourselves, we tend to dwell on the past and indulge in self-pity. Alone, we are often with our own worst enemy.
Surrounding ourselves with happy, loving people seems to be the only solution. Being with strong people in the group gives us a sense of belonging and being loved. This forms a base on which to build our new lives. Again and again, we find new growth by sharing with, being with, and listening to people who have a positive attitude toward life, even with its problems. From them, we learn to cultivate the attitude that solutions are possible for us as well. People who have solved the problems we now face are the winners and invest in relationships with them, thus opening ourselves to change.
Each of us needs to determine what areas of our lives need strengthening. How can we grow more? Do we have difficulty developing personal relationships? Do we have trouble with ego? A patchy job history? Are we compulsive with sex, money, food, or other parts of life? Someone who had dealt with such problems can be a winner for us.
We have found that developing a close relationship with one winner in particular is an important part of the Second Step. We choose as a Sponsor a person with whom we can relate and feel comfortable. We trust this person to guide us on our road to better life. Through close contact, we learn to believe in ourselves and in our ability to change. Our feelings of unworthiness and hopelessness diminish. We begin to overcome our fears and to learn the importance of asking questions. We take action, following our Sponsor’s suggestions and those of other winners we have chosen.
A trap many of us fall into in working this step is working it for someone else. We have also been guilty of judging others and their friends and associates. We must be responsible for our own choices and allow others the same responsibility. This step is to help us choose wisely the people we want to learn from, NOT to eliminate everyone else from our lives.
Although PDAP has by no means cornered the market on positive, happy people, we have found that attending meetings and parties and visiting the satellite during the day gave us the opportunity to meet many “winners.” We have found other people who have been through situations similar to our own whom are happy and serene today. These are our winners, and by “sticking with “them, we can begin to become the person we have always wanted to be.